Their time in Rockenberg was healing. (See Our Own Gesangverein ~ the Story of Katharina & Jakob Sulzbach, Part the First; see Sulzbach Pedigree Chart) Every day Katharina stared out at the field over the gate and the brightness of the sun brought out salty tears that needed to come out. The three of them, the four of them, seemed to take their place in long rows of ancestors in the fields, planted and harvested, some as tiny buds and others dried-out stalks, all in God's good time.
In God's good time she cried over Margareta's clothes on the day when there were no longer any dresses to hand down to Barbara, since Barbara was now older than Margareta would ever be. She put 3 favorites wrapped in soft paper, away in a box, and put all the others in a different, bigger box, for the new baby. In God's good time there was another daughter, and they named her Eva Katharina Margaretha also, in the German custom, and then a boy, Augustin, in 1859.
So there was rejoicing and excitement when Jakob was offered a position in the Seminar at Bretzenheim. The little house that was so cozy, so small that a child no longer there wasn't noticed, wasn't big enough for a family of 5.
~~~~~~~~
Jakob loved Bretzenheim. The Seminar was an amazing array of concepts, where everyone's opinion was equal to everyone else's. He put forth his ideas and they were debated by the best minds; young and old, priests and monsignors and students, brought their ideas for debate. Sometimes the talk went on into the night. He breathed in the talk like it was food itself, and so did everyone else.
The house they had for living was large and well-furnished, with fireplaces in every room, paintings on the walls and antique furniture. Katharina enjoyed arranging the rooms, setting up the children's schedules. She was introduced to all the old women who oohhed and ahhed over the babies, and thrilled to have a young family in their midst. Sometimes Jakob brought home starving students for dinner. Other days it was old doddering priests from the other end of Europe.
All that setting up was tiring, though, because Katharina was pregnant again. Once she finished joyfully showing visitors the antiques, the next day she realized all those marvels needed to be cleaned, and there was only one old lady and one young girl. She told Jacob she needed more help, and he said he would look into it. When she brought it up again, he seemed to have forgotten. Months went by, and Katharina brought it up herself to the directors. They said the old lady needed the money and the young girl was a favor to an important family, and there weren't any plans to make any changes.
It was time to have a baby named after his father, so he became the new Jacob. Now there were 4 children to take care of. Katharina asked for a baby nurse to help, and Jacob said he would take care of that too. He seemed confused when one never arrived. Katharina's mother came for a month, and left a baby nurse behind. She bought all the children new clothes, and took them on outings every day.
Having no one to talk to the next morning hit like the fall of a conductor's baton. "When will you be home tonight?"
"The usual."
"4? 6? 8?"
"I'm not sure."
"Will you eat dinner with us?"
"I'll let you know."
Jakob was even more confused when he was met with a screaming wife at 10 pm. "You said you would let me know!"
Her face told him that he had forgotten that part. "I'm sorry. We just got caught up in what we were saying and..."
More screaming told him that was a mistake. "You were saying? You were saying? How about you say things to your wife for a change?"
"Sshhh. You'll wake the children. Aren't you always telling me not to wake the children?"
"Maybe I should wake the children! At least you'll see what they look like!"
It took 3 more screaming sessions before he finally figured it out. His secretary started chasing him out of the study room at 4, and that got him to his parlor by 6. To compensate, he brought home students. They smiled at Katharina, and complimented the food, and she returned witty conversation. Then they retired to the drawing room for more philosophy, and Katharina put the children to bed while the maid cleaned up.
She went to the doorway. "I'm sorry Liebchen, you'll find us incredibly boring. I'll be right out."
Two hours later, Katharina, bored, went to bed.
Maybe some action was necessary, she thought, since Jakob, the wordsmith, never seemed to understand the meaning of her words. She took the children to Rockenberg for the summer to stay with her parents. They missed each other. There were long letters back and forth, and visits from Bretzenheim. She went home in the fall.
~~~~~~~~~~
Adam, named after Jakob's grandfather, was born in March, but he didn't gain weight like he should, and in June what started as a simple cold ended when Adam stopped breathing. This time Katharina said nothing, but packed everyone up again and went back to Rockenberg. She locked herself in her room at her parents' house and refused to see anyone.
Finally Jakob was sent for. If he was confused by the screaming demands, the silence was an enigma. He tried everything he could think of, but when he finally said he would quit his job at Bretzenheim, come home and work with the Gesangverein he had started, Katharina came back to life.
So they unsteadily hit upon a truce. Katharina did not complain about the lack of funds, the small house, or the housework, but pretended to enjoy domesticity on the cheap until she found she actually relished the challenge. Jakob only went to the Concordia in the afternoons and spent the mornings in his study writing for publication. In the evenings, he taught the older children, who were 5, 7, 8, and 11, how to form opinions and stretch their imaginations. Georg Heinrich was born right away, strong and healthy, and after healthy intervals, another Adam and then Maria Regina.
All the children were smart, quick, imaginative. Georg built block cities and Barbara drew birds with intricate detail; Margaretha planned outings and directed the siblings' games; Adam read voraciously and Augustin tracked the stars.
Jacob showed a remarkable affinity for mathematical concepts. Katharina brought him to the butcher's, the grocer's. "What then, is this wurst if I buy 3 lengths? What if I buy the veal instead? Which is more meat for a thaler?" She laughed for the butcher. "The boy loves his arithmetic!"
And he did, wandering the store calculating prices for it all, while Katharina flirted with the storekeeper. "Well, what should I buy, Jacob? What do you think? The bratwurst, really? Not this nice weisswurst your siblings love? Well, all right then."
And, with enough delicacies thrown in to make the storekeeper think she didn't need to economize, it was all for fun, she bought what Jacob recommended.
Katharina watched the household funds carefully. Writing and creating music didn't bring much income. She knew that her parents had given them her inheritance upon their wedding, but she was careful not to ask Jakob to draw on that too often. So when Jakob was offered another position with an increase in pay, they went. Katharina thought moving would take Jakob's mind off the untimely death of his twin, Heinrich, who had taught in Rockenberg.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new lodgings in Neckarsteinach were modern but small and poorly built. Four boys running through the house caused slammed doors and broke items that were never repaired. The social life was non-existent, for either Katharina or the girls. The exciting philosophical discussions that Jakob loved seemed to devolve into arguments over doomsday predictions. The German staaten had decided to unify, but there were concerns about the role of the Roman Catholic Church in a nation that would be likely dominated by Protestant Prussia. He came home morose and shut himself up with his music. He did not respond to Katharina's complaints. The children asked for clothes, toys, outings, his attention. They didn't get it. What they did get was another brother, Peter, in August 1870.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The blow finally came when the school in Neckarsteinach closed. There was no question of returning home; 8 children needed a big house and a equally big salary. Jakob found a new position not far away in Budingen, where they moved for the new year. Budingen provided a big house, but a small salary. Jakob promised to continue job hunting. Meanwhile, he quietly took necessary funds from their investments. 19 days in, with boxes still unpacked, another infant disease raged through and Peter was dead.
This time there was no going back to Rockenberg, no job there with enough money, no house big enough yet cheap enough. That was clear; it was not even discussed. Katharina couldn't leave the house, but she left the room. She hid the cradle under the bed and moved her things in with Maria Regina. Jakob did not know what to say or do; he was so unused to silent Katharina. When he came to the door, she was wrapped around the little girl, eyes closed. He walked away again. The children watched them, wary. Their mother moved through her days without an unnecessary word.
As the weeks went by, the outside news grew worse and worse. Otto von Bismarck, ruler of Prussia and now unified Germany, distrusted the allegiance of the German Catholics. Discriminatory laws were passed. Jakob did not want to worry Katharina or add to her woe. But the fear filled his brain and choked his throat. So he said nothing. The house had never been so silent.
Finally it was announced that Bismarck was closing all Catholic education. Not only was the Budingen position over, every position was over. Walking home from the meeting, all Jakob could think about was the inheritance invested. He requested a full-family dinner. He roused himself, presented calm confidence. "I hope the chancellor will come to his senses. Meanwhile, we have money put aside."
"Are we leaving here?" Adam wanted to know.
"Good riddance," was Margaretha 's opinion.
"We'll go back to Rockenberg for now. But don't worry, something will turn up. God will provide. We have money put aside for this very thing."
Katharina said nothing at all. After dinner, she began to pack again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three days later, Jakob requested another dinner. While the 7-, 5-, and 3-year-old watched fearfully, he quietly informed a stunned 16-, 13-, 12-, and 10-year-old as well as a silent wife that the savings he promised would get them through it all was gone.
"It's my fault, he explained. "I'm not good at business, I'm sorry. But don't worry," and attempted a smile. "I'll go to America. I've been there before. There's plenty of money to be made there, and I'll send it all home. It won't be very long, and Bismarck will come to his senses. They'll open the schools again, and I'll come back. Everything will be fine."
Katharina awoke from her months-long trance. She stood up.
"Go to America then!" she shouted. "I never want to see you again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He did, and she didn't.
Comments
Post a Comment